Five (+1) Ways That Churches “Run Ahead”

I had an eye-opening experience very early this morning.

I have been participating in a men’s outdoor workout group called F3 and I often look up a workout when I travel out of town. Yesterday, I contacted a friend who lives in the area where I was going and asked about a specific workout. He shared that this workout was normally not a running-focused workout. He was wrong…

I arrived at the workout location with a few friends and we joined the circle before the start. One of the guys in the circle shared how we were going to run to join up with another workout because of a special event. He said, “This was shared in an email that went out last night. Sorry if you didn’t get it.”

The group took off running and the ten other men left me and my friends behind. We tried to keep pace but they were way ahead of us. At one point, someone was running the other way and briefly said, “Hi” and then continued on. I thought that it was one of our group who came back to find us but I was mistaken. The rest of the group eventually stopped to wait for us at points and then two of them decided to stay with us in order to lead us to the destination.

We ran to the destination to find a group gathered around a tree. As soon as we arrived, however, the group dispersed and headed in the opposite direction. We followed them and went through the same sequence in terms of trying to catch up and figure out what was going on. They eventually slowed down and included us in the exercises.

We felt lost. We didn’t have a clue what was happening. 

What does this have to do with church?

I had a thought a few minutes into the workout that I couldn’t shake. I thought, “This is what it must feel like to come to a church when the people are not welcoming or the pastor doesn’t preach with the ‘normal person’ in mind.” I was honestly convicted by this thought as I considered my life and leadership.

What are some ways that this can play out in the church?

1. New People Do Not Know What “Insiders” Know

The “insiders” with this workout group had received an email that described what was happening but they didn’t explain it to the newcomers. They acted as if everyone should know what was planned. They spoke vaguely about the goal of converging with the other workouts but they didn’t explain it. They simply took off running.

New people in churches oftentimes do not have access or even know what is going on and need help finding out so that they can connect into the community. This leads to the next point.

2. “Insiders” Can Run Ahead and Leave New People Behind

The “insiders” took off running in the dark and we could barely see them in the distance. We were able to stay within range to follow their path but it required a sizable effort. If we were not committed to the workout then we could have easily given up and turned back.

New people in a church can feel left behind if the people do not see them and help them feel connected. The new people do not need to give some effort to connect but the responsibility primarily falls on those welcoming them into the community.

3. A Quick “Hi” is Not Enough

Another runner said “Hi” to us as she ran in the opposite direction. My mind wandered to the image of a greeter saying “Hi” on a Sunday morning before a worship service but then nobody else doing anything more to engage these new people. A welcoming “Hi” can be a warm first impression and helpful starting point but there must be more for a meaningful connection to begin.

4. A Few People Can Help Connect The New People

The good news is that our experience was not a complete disaster. A few of the men noticed that we were new and running behind. They stopped to wait for us and committed to leading us to the final destination.

A few people in a church can help to bridge this gap for newcomers as well if they notice and take action.

5. Intentionally Seeking Ways to Include Others Can Change Everything

We had a better experience on the back half of the workout. The leader decided to include multiple stopping points for everyone to catch up and be together. We experienced a higher sense of connection and participation in light of this change.

Churches need to identify and enact intentional ways to slow down and include others as well. These opportunities can change the experience of new people who want to connect but can easily get lost.

BONUS: This applies to preaching too.

This is the hardest one for me to swallow but I will be thinking about this one for awhile. I see the same patterns playing out in preaching in terms of including people. If a preacher talks above or “ahead” of the listeners then that preacher leaves the people behind. This can come in the form of using big theological words (like “theological”) or in the type of communication.

I will be reviewing my preaching and teaching in light of what I experienced this morning. I am looking forward to asking some trusted friends, church members and colleagues about this as well.

What about you?

What have your experiences been with trying to find a meaningful connection in a church community?  

What, if any, of the patterns that I have listed apply to your experience?

From another angle, in what ways have you “run ahead” of others who have been trying to find a meaningful connection in your church community?

How can you intentionally reach out to them so that they don’t feel left out? How can you go beyond a quick “Hi” as you run the other way?

I will be thinking long and hard about these patterns and seeking ways to engage differently. I invite you to do the same.

 

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DNOW2 – Snapshots

I had the opportunity to share this past weekend with 180 students and 30 adult leaders at Restoration Church’s Disciple Now 2 (DNOW2) retreat.

I have made it a practice to take some time to reflect on experiences like this in order to process the God-moments. I returned home and found myself talking non-stop to my wife about all that God did over the weekend. I tried to avoid fire-hosing her with stories but I couldn’t stop. I still feel that way as I type these words.

I wasn’t sure what to expect going into the weekend. I knew that I was given the opportunity to co-lead a small group of 11th/12th grade guys. I also knew that I was paired up with Mat Fisher and all his intensity. I remember looking over the following schedule and wondering how everything would develop:

I can share a million different memories from this past weekend but I will use this blog post to share about what God taught me through the speaker (Mike Cramer) and, even more, through the conversations with students about the content.

Mike shared the life-changing and life-restoring truth that, “Jesus doesn’t want you to be good, he wants you to be ALIVE.” He hit on this point from all angles all weekend long. He shared that Jesus gave up his life so that we could have life. He wants our entire heart so that he can restore all of it. He hammered home the idea that we need God to change our hearts as opposed to merely adjusting our behavior. I needed to hear this word of grace.

Mike drew a picture during the Saturday evening talk that drove him this point to me. Here is the picture:

He shared how we can be fully alive when our true north points toward Christ. We are drawn, however, in many directions by all kinds of pulls. We experience these pulls in areas such as our identity, relationships, finances, sex and work. He drew circles to represent these areas and arrows to indicate how we can be pulled off course. He then added a line with a box to show the specific weights that drag us away from directing our hearts toward Jesus. He shared that these are the idols of our heart.

I saw my life right in front of me.

I sensed God showing me how and why I lose my focus on what is truly important. I felt God inviting me back to being fully alive in Christ by realigning my heart. I sensed that God was asking me to cut off the weights (idols of my heart) that were pulling my heart and weighing me down. The Holy Spirit reminded me that Jesus doesn’t want me to be merely good (behavior) but he wants me to be fully alive (heart). 

Limitless (youth outreach band) led a song after the talk and I felt my heart pounding inside. I asked God what He was doing and I sensed that He wanted me to let go. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and when I opened them I looked over the sea of students and adult leaders worshiping God. I asked God to flood every person with the love of Jesus in that moment.

I didn’t realize how much God would answer that prayer for me. I felt a flood of warmth come over me and I couldn’t hold back my tears. I knew without a doubt that God loved me and that He wanted my heart and not just my good behavior. I knew without a doubt that God wanted me, all of me. I closed my eyes and took in the music. I kept my eyes closed and I prayed, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” I asked God to cut the lines that were holding the weights that were pulling my heart away from Him. I asked God to do the same for every student and adult leader in the room.

That was one of many powerful moments from the weekend for me. I can’t imagine how many other powerful moments occurred. I know that God was there and His love flooded the entire weekend.

I can write and write… I don’t have the time to share all that I would like to share but I will share some images, snapshots and memories that come to my heart and mind from the weekend…

• student leaders taking the initiative to lead and serve
• college students returning to give their lives away for the weekend to encourage the next wave of students
• students sharing their hearts and encouragement with one another at an “open mic” night on Saturday night
• memories being made on zips lines, rock walls, Gaga pits, basketball courts, swings and around fires
• adult small group leaders creating relational spaces for sharing questions, doubts and insights
• laughter and more laughter
• F3 workout with 20+ who braved the cold and wind to post for the first ever DNOW2 F3 AO
• Limitless leading all of us into the presence of God through music and prayers
• Craig and Mary Grace doing their emcee thing and leading us through games, laughter and all kinds of unpredictable greatness
• Charlie and Leah stepping up to emcee on Saturday morning and showing that the future is unstoppable (and also unpredictable)
• new friendships forming and outsiders being included
• hands raised and eyes closed during worship songs that connected all of us to God’s great love for us
• young men committing to going deeper in an accountability group together
• sacrificial help for those who encountered health challenges
• confidence growing in the eyes of every student as they experienced the weekend
• some ridiculously yummy food
• little to no sleep
• the hot chocolate
• more laughter
• more hot chocolate
• more wood on the fire…
• then… more hot chocolate and laughter
• hugs and smiles that are markers of new and eternal relationships!

I saw and experienced Restoration Church’s mission – “with love, we embrace life together as we multiply deeper relationships in Christ.” 

This blog post can’t capture all that God did but it hopefully provided a window into a special weekend that only God could orchestrate.

To God be the glory!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m disconnecting

I have the opportunity to step away from my normal rhythm of life this week to spend focused time with God and my family.

Peter Scazzero is a pastor in Brooklyn, NY who has written extensively about sabbath and rest. His readings and talks have been a lifeline to me in terms of emotional health and following Jesus in leadership.

He shared the following update on his blog the other day and I echo his sharing as I look toward this week:

————————-

 

Today, I begin a vacation away. Part of that will include not checking my email, posting on Facebook or Instagram, blogging or tweeting.
 
 Why?

1. To Honor Sabbatical Rest. I prefer to frame vacations as sabbaticals from the Lord, a gift to let the soil of one’s soul get replenished by stopping our work, resting, delighting, and contemplating Him. A good part of my work now includes social media engagement. So I will stop and let it rest.
2. To Respect My Vulnerabilities. I like Sherry Turkle’s point that “laptops and smartphones are not things to remove. They are facts of life and part of our creative lives. The goal is to use them with greater intention. We are faced with technologies to which we are extremely vulnerable and we don’t always respect that fact.” Is it possible to be addicted to social media? I think so. (Not all researchers agree.) Disconnecting will be good for my soul.
3. To Embrace Humility. Unless the Lord builds a house, we labor in vain who build it (Ps. 127:1). The world and the work of the kingdom will do just fine without me. It always has and always will. 
4. To Let Go. We will let go of everything as we grow older and approach death (unless of course we get hit by a truck and die suddenly). This is very good practice of an essential discipline in discipleship (see John 12:24).
5. To Make Room for Others. When I get out of the way, even for a few weeks, other people emerge. When I stay, they don’t in quite the same way. In fact, my experience is that things often go better when I am away!   

So, as Lynn Ungar writes in her beautiful poem, Camas Lilies: Gone to the fields to be lovely. Be back when I’m through with blooming.

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Jesus’ words from Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message translation) that we considered this morning at Restoration Church are with me as well:

 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

I am accepting Jesus’ invitation to get away with I’m and seek real rest. I am trusting God with His church, knowing that it is His work and He has put together a wonderful team of brothers and sister in Christ to live out our God-given mission.

In Christ,

Jeff

2016 Reading Plan & Approach

I love reading. 

I lost track of that love last year…

The beginning of a new year, however, provides the opportunity to reset. Every year, I take some time to review my prior year and plan for the upcoming year. I then seek to realign my focus for the spiritual, relational, physical and financial areas of my life. One of the most important areas for me is reading.

Last year, I created an intentional reading plan and I followed it for almost the entire year. I realized that if I didn’t form a plan for what books to read, then I would end up starting any book that came my way from personal recommendations, Facebook references, podcasts, conferences, etc. I also had committed to reading the Bible in a year and those readings took the primary place for my time and energy.

I am resetting my list for 2016 today.

I have reviewed last year’s list and consulted lists from trusted mentors, friends and authors. Eugene Peterson’s “Take and Read” has proven to also be a wonderful resource for me. I have reviewed my list of categories and I have sought to draw from each of the categories so that I would have a “well-balanced diet” of books and authors for the year.

I am looking forward to diving into this list and to following the discipline of telling my reading time where to go (as opposed to reacting to the every “You HAVE to read this NOW” recommendation from others).

Here are my assumptions for my reading plan:

• I had a “draft list” of over 30 books.
• I chose 15 of those books. I made sure to cover all of my categories (e.g. Relationships, Leadership, Theology, Biographies, etc.)
• I organized the list by months.
• I assigned one book per month.
• I have three additional books that I can read if I finish a book early in a month. This also leaves some margin just in case I do want to add in a book that God clearly puts in my path.
• I will read the assigned book during that month and see if there is any remaining time for an additional book.
• I tried to leave off ministry-specific books that I will be reading anyway in light of specific leadership needs.
• Like any plan, this is a target and I will seek to stay in it while recognizing that God may have other plans for me along the way.

I am sharing this on my blog both as a means of accountability but also as an invitation to join me at any month along the way.

2016 Reading Plan

January

Rookie Smarts by Liz Wiseman

Category: Leadership

February

A Glimpse of Jesus by Brennan Manning

Category: Spiritual Formation

 

March

Good To Great by Jim Collins

Category: Leadership

April

InSideOut Coaching: How Sports Can Transform Lives by Joe Hermann

Category: Leadership

May

Francis of Assisi by Augustine Thompson

Category: Biography

June

Faith and Justification by G.C. Berkouwer

Category: Theology

July

How Your Church Family Works by Peter Steinke

Category: Pastoral Leadership

August

Family Shepherds by Voodie Baucham

Category: Relationships

September

Trinitarian Faith by T.F. Torrance

Category: Theology

October

Preaching and Preachers by D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Category: Pastoral Tasks

November

The Healing Path by Dan Allender

Category: Spiritual Formation

December

Purity of Heart by Soren Kierkegaard

Category: Spiritual Formation

 

Additional Books

The Courage To Teach by Parker Palmer

Category: Leadership

Preaching by Tim Keller

Category: Pastoral Tasks

The Four Obsessions of an Extraordinary Executive by Patrick Lencioni

Category: Leadership

 

Only God knows…

I remember the first time that I heard the word “Uber” and I thought someone was telling a joke. The person said that he was going to get an “Uber” from the airport to his home. I asked him if it was his first time and he then said the he had “Uber”d before. I had no idea what he was talking about. I also did not know if “Uber” was a noun or a verb.

I later heard about this new app that arranged for rides from one point to another. I was intrigued by how it actually worked. I had the opportunity to experience it with some friends a few months ago when we needed a ride. I recall thinking that this is a brilliant idea for decentralizing the ability to provide a taxi-like experience.

I landed in Houston today for an Executive Leadership training and I decided to Uber from the airport to the training location. I have to admit that I embraced to my technology, geeky side as I watched the app display the car coming to pick me up.

I saw the car approaching and I prayed this simple prayer, “God, this ride is not an accident. You set this up. Help me to ask questions and get to know the driver’s story.”

I entered the car and greeted Joe (his name was on the app) and he responded with a resounding “Hello!” He had an accent that I initially thought was Scottish. I couldn’t put my finger on the exact one. I later found out he was Polish and that I wasn’t even close with my guess.  He began our interaction by confirming my destination as the Houston Medical Center. I agreed and he responded, “I have been there before…”

His voice trailed off…

I then had a choice. I could have ignored him and looked down at my phone in order to check endless Facebook and Instagram updates. I could have opened up my email on my phone and responded to the numerous urgent messages sitting in my inbox. I could have simply remained quiet and looked out the window at the Houston highways until we arrived my destination.

God had other plans.

God prompted me to ask questions.

God answered my prayer. 

I asked, “Have you been to the Medical Center before?” He responded, “Yes, I was there for cancer some time ago…”

His voice trailed off again…

I sensed at that point that he wanted to share more. I asked him about the type of cancer. He then opened up. He shared how he had pancreatic cancer in 2007 and that he was told that he was going to die. The doctor shared that there was an experimental treatment that he could try but he didn’t expect it to work. Joe agreed to explore the treatment.

Joe asked the doctor if he thought he had any chance of living. The doctor responded, “Only God knows.” Joe paused after he shared these three words. I sensed an opportunity to ask Joe more about his story so I asked him, “I’m curious, Joe, do you have a faith in God or religion?” He looked back at me for a moment, stared into my eyes and then looked forward. He didn’t say a word. I then waited to see what he would say.

He continued with his story and shared that he accepted the experimental treatment and then underwent surgery. He revealed that he had gone into a 3 week coma and the next thing he remembered was opening his eyes to the sight of a stranger.

The doctor then came in and said that he had miraculously lived through the coma. Joe asked if he would continue to heal and the doctor responded, “Only God knows…” Joe then shared that his wife had already ordered a casket and planned for his funeral. He laughed and said that he told her to “Send it back!” With a smile on his face he then said, “She should have asked me. I wasn’t dead. I was alive. I had been given a second life!”

I decided to interject, “Only God knew, right?” He nodded.

Joe continued to share about his experiences. He said that he only remembered darkness during his coma except for one instance when he recalled hearing people shouting of “code blue.” He said that he didn’t know what was going to happen.

I gingerly re-entered the dialogue and said, “Joe, I would like to ask you a very personal question. Please only answer if you want to. What do you think happens when we die?” He paused for a moment and said that he didn’t know. He shared that he would have expected something to happen when he was in the coma but nothing happened.

He then became very pensive and said, “Now I want to share something with you.” I said, “Please do so.” He then proceeded to reveal that someone came up to him a few years later and said that she recognized him. He didn’t recognize her. She asked him if he had been in a coma. He confirmed that he had been in one. She then said, “I was in a coma at the same time as you were. I recognize you from that time.” She didn’t have any other explanation for why she recognized him. Joe said that he had no idea how to explain that phenomenon either. I asked, “Do you think that this was something supernatural?” He agreed and said, “Only God knows…”

We neared the end of my ride and I sensed the prompting of God to share something with my new friend, Joe. I said, “Joe. I have only known you for 21 minutes but I can confidently say that God has a special plan for you. You have been given a second life. I believe that God has also confirmed that there is more to this life than we our natural senses pick up. I believe that God will reveal this to you if you seek Him and ask Him.”

Joe paused again and shared, “I have a Catholic background but I need to consider this more closely. Thank you for asking me these questions. Thank you for listening to my story (he really did say this and I am not fabricating his words).”

He then looked at me in the eyes and said, “Only God knows…”

I don’t know what will happen with Joe. I do know that God set up that Uber today and I was blessed to hear this man’s story. I will be asking God to meet this man so that his story will more closely intersect with God.

Will I ever run into Joe again? You guessed it. “Only God knows…”

 

Where Does Your Pastor Drink Coffee?

Here are some humorous and scarily accurate descriptions of coffee shops and types of pastors. I may need to come up with a set for the Richmond area in order to contextualize this blog post. Wes Barry provides a thought-provoking analysis of where to meet people in the natural intersections of their lives.

Wes Barry

And Paul left the synagogue and went nextdoor to the house of a man named Titius Justus, a worshiper of God. ~Acts 18:7

About 2 years ago, I came across this passage in Acts, and it radically reoriented my ministry.  I realized that I was called as a pastor not to wait for people to show up to me, but to seek them in their ordinary and daily lives.  While it may be cliche, and the people of Waypoint may think it is ridiculous (Our newest core value is “Heckling Wes” after all), there is a rationale to my coffee addiction.  It has provided a point of contact for me to bring the gospel to thirsty souls.

Plus it is the best $1.87 for free WiFi and clean bathrooms.

As a result I have come to the conclusion that where your pastor drinks coffee around Charlotte reveals a lot about his or…

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Lightning Strikes

What will happen to your life and faith when a crisis hits?

Two observations converged in my mind last night. I saw a report on the news regarding the fires in the Pacific Northwest. A few hours later, I walked across a parking lot as lightning flashed across the New England skies. I witnessed a woman running to her car while pushing her shopping cart in obvious fear of the lightning. In both cases, my mind focused on lightning and its impact.

I remember thinking about this question as a child when I feared lightning. I probably saw too many scary movies where thunder and lightning directly connected to a terrifying moment. I also was abandoned for a moment on a beach in my childhood during a thunder storm. As you can tell from these memories, I have always had a fear of lightning.

What would happen if a forest or I was hit by lightning?

I don’t know the answer to the second part of that question but I have reflected on the first part. In my obsession about lightning, I have read numerous articles regarding the impact of lightning on forest fires. In some cases, lightning hit and kickstarted the process for a widespread forest fire. In other cases, lightning hit the ground or trees but did not have any immediate or long-term impact.

What was the difference?

In most cases, the lightning sparked the forest fire because there had not been enough rain to saturate the ground and forest. The lack of water directly impacted the inability of the forest to withstand the lightning strike. On the other hand, the forests that could withstand the impact of lightning had a demonstrable amount of rain and water saturation. The difference between the two cases was clear.

All of this called my life into question. 

What would happen if a “lightning strike” hit my life in the form of a crisis? 

Would I be able to absorb the impact of the pain, hurt and disappointment? 

Would my life go up in flames or will my life continue to grounded in my trust in God?

These questions pointed me to an encouraging AND challenging passage in the Bible that has shaped my daily approach to my life:

This is what the Lord says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
    who draws strength from mere flesh
    and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
    they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
    in a salt land where no one lives.”

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:5-8

What have I learned from this passage?

I have learned that I have to two choices for my ultimate trust. If I put my trust in myself or others as opposed to God, then I will dry up in this life and be susceptible to a “lightning strike” that will negatively impact my life and faith. If I put my trust in God, however, then I will be like a tree planted by water that can withstand the “lightning strikes” that will come my way in this life.

I have the opportunity to not fear when life’s challenges come to me if I put my trust in God every day. I can live with a proper confidence in God and his care for me in the midst of a heart-breaking world. I do not have to worry when the heat and droughts of this life come my way.

How about you?

Where do you put your trust and confidence? Are you relying only on your own strength and resources? If so, then what will happen in your life when there is a “lightning strike” that can burn up your life and faith?

God loves you and invites you to know him personally. As you grow in that relationship, you will know and experience the peace that guards your heart and mind when crises (“lightning strikes”) come your way.

Will you be ready?